December 08, 2007
MILITARY MBA
My husband is about to start his last semester of his MBA program. Yay for him! He has busted his tail to work full time and make it through an entire MBA, and I'm so proud of him for his perseverance.
When he started the program, we were still living in Germany. He had to look far and wide for an online degree program from a respectable school that didn't require him to fly across the Atlantic once a semester. It took a lot of research before he found the right program, and I think he could've saved a lot of time if we had known about the website Military MBA. So when Military MBA contacted me about hosting an ad on my blog, I thought that was a program I could get behind.
If you're in my husband's boat, trying to find an MBA program that will fit with the hectic military lifestyle, give Military MBA a look.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Congratulations to your husband! It's a ton of work to get an MBA. Yay!
Posted by: Teresa at December 09, 2007 12:34 PM (rVIv9)
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December 06, 2007
HALF AN INCH OF WATER
Life is conspiring to make me a stronger person today.
We got to the hospital this morning and had to wait in the waiting room for a while. At one point, a nurse came in and decided to turn on the TV. After the commerical break, we returned to Dr. Phil, who said -- I am not kidding -- "Today we're talking with women who are desperate to get pregnant."
Of all the things to watch on TV when you're waiting for a D&C. My husband and I just burst out laughing.
Then I got into the pre-operating room, and the assisting doctor came to get me settled. The very pregnant assisting doctor.
I mean, at this point it's like someone is just trying to make things awkward, right?
But everything went well, and, um, now we don't have a baby anymore.
I've been thinking a lot about the John Prine lyrics I posted the other day. In the grand scheme of things, this really is only half an inch of water. And I did feel like I was going to drown earlier this week, but unfortunately I've gotten way too good at The Perspective Game for my own good.
The women on Dr. Phil had major problems. They only ovulated three times a year. They had tried numerous in-vitros. My husband and I look lucky in comparison to that.
The friend I wrote about a while back who had the miscarriage, her baby was further along than ours was. Hers looked like a real baby instead of the tadpole striking a Rosie the Riveter pose like ours was. It would've been a lot harder for me if our baby had looked more like a baby.
When I woke up from the surgery, I hurt. I am a big wimp, and I was in pain. And I lay there thinking about GBear's son, a 13-year-old boy whose body was ravaged by cancer and who has to repeatedly endure painful limb lengthening surgeries. If he can deal with massive metal pins pulling his femur apart, I can surely deal with some cramping.
I've taken a deep breath this week and realized that things could be a lot worse than they really are. This half an inch of water will not drown me; it will make me a better swimmer.
So this chapter of my life is over, and now we're on to the next.
And I now return this blog to the regularly scheduled programming of attempts at grokking.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Posted by: Badger 6 at December 06, 2007 11:55 AM (K0acE)
Posted by: airforcewife at December 06, 2007 12:12 PM (mIbWn)
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I think you've got great perspective. Take care. And some more hugs.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at December 06, 2007 12:20 PM (K0acE)
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{{Hugs}}
You have handled this 1/2 inch of water with great grace and, while I'm around, you're certainly entitled to lose perspective for a bit to allow you to have whatever feelings you want to. You're taking those and turning them around to keep moving forward makes me want to hug you even harder.
Posted by: Guard Wife at December 06, 2007 01:41 PM (BslEQ)
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You have every right to whimper some. and indulge in a bout of feeling sorry for yourself and your husband. don't do it too long, but a little bit is a totally normal human thing to do.
You have been an amazingly strong lady through all this. Bending a little won't hurt.
Sending lots of good thoughts (and if I could, hugs and chocolate)
LAW
Posted by: liberal army wife at December 06, 2007 02:21 PM (R+g0A)
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You are in my heart and thoughts and many hugs to you and your hubby!
Posted by: LMT at December 07, 2007 02:43 AM (y9taJ)
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You've handled this amazingly well. Just remember that it is okay to grieve. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending more hugs your way.
Posted by: Marine Wife at December 07, 2007 03:56 PM (XW8Je)
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Your day will come. I am sorry it's taking so long. At least you can have kids.
Posted by: James Hudnall at December 07, 2007 06:47 PM (/sSKg)
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December 03, 2007
STILL INSIDE OF ME
Saturday night the SpouseBUZZ authors surprised me with an unexpected baby shower. We oohed and ahhed over onesies and baby lotion and cute little socks. I was touched that they had conspired behind my back to throw me a shower, and it was so fun to imagine my little baby in sleepers covered in ducks and snails.
But today my husband and I spent six hours in the emergency room finding out that our 12-week pregnancy stopped somewhere around week 5. Our baby is no longer a baby. It never even had a heartbeat.
That's the way that the world goes 'round.
You're up one day and the next you're down.
It's half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown.
That's the way that the world goes 'round.
We got sad. Then we wanted to puke. Then we got angry and frustrated. Then we made crass jokes. And then it was back to sad. We've been through every emotion that exists today, and there's nothing else left to feel.
But what I feel most of all, what is weighing most heavily on me tonight, is time. We don't have time for a blighted ovum, as this condition apparently is called. We were racing against the deployment clock as it was, and now all I can think about is how we have to start over. Back to basal temperatures and the rollercoaster months. Only there aren't that many months left.
And this baby, this baby is still inside of me.
****************
I think I had more perspective when I wrote my SpouseBUZZ post.
Posted by: Sarah at
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I wish I had some profound thing I could say, but I don't. I can only think to say you all are in my prayers.
Posted by: Yvonne at December 03, 2007 08:06 PM (jC96s)
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Oh . . . man . . .

I read your Spousebuzz post first, but I thought I'd comment here, instead.
We lost our first baby shortly after my husband mobilized for Afghanistan. The hospital staff I dealt with were a bit incompetent, and they did not prepare me for the pain. But I'd read so much, I'd prepared myself mentally – thankfully, I'd only known I was pregnant for four days. I didn't have time to get used to it. Two friends of mine had the same situation as you did – they thought they were pregnant for twelve weeks before miscarrying. I just . . . can't imagine. Four days was enough for me. Then fifteen months of waiting to try again.
I'm glad you're going to prepare yourself to take your health into your hands when you get pregnant again (and you will!) – and I'm glad you prepared yourself somewhat for the miscarriage. I hope they could at least lessen the physical pain for you.
There's never anything "right" to say in this situation, especially when you're looking deployment in the face. If it helps, I'm shedding a few tears for you. This is such heartbreaking news . . .
God bless you and your husband, Sarah. Keep trying – your chance will come.
Posted by: deltasierra at December 03, 2007 09:36 PM (woXks)
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I'm so sorry, Sarah. That is so hard.
This has happened to so many of my friends. And with the great majority of them, they got pregnant lickety split after that first miscarriage. My friend, an OB back in the states, says that sometimes the body has to destroy a little in order to be ready to create. Maybe there is something to that.
I think you're right. That baby is still inside you. And I believe that he or she is going to appear before you know it. Please don't despair.
Posted by: Non-Essential Equipment at December 04, 2007 12:50 AM (7GWvQ)
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Ah Sarah. There is nothing I can say or add to what has already been expressed. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. **BIG HUGS**
Posted by: Lemon Stand at December 04, 2007 01:33 AM (GAC+X)
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Sarah, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers too.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at December 04, 2007 02:34 AM (nlZGQ)
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I am so very sorry. I wish I could offer you some peace. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: dutchgirl at December 04, 2007 03:04 AM (69ddh)
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I am very sorry for your loss.
A miscarriage is a terrible thing to go through and I am very sorry that you and your husband are having to go through this.
*HUGS* and prayers
Posted by: Kasey at December 04, 2007 03:06 AM (tttDj)
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Sarah - I am just so sorry. Wonderful things lie ahead for you in the future - of that I am sure. But right now this is about pain and loss and it is so hard.
Be good to yourselves and to one another and know that many many people care. I hope that helps a little.
Posted by: Amy at December 04, 2007 03:20 AM (I9LMv)
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Sarah,
I am so sorry to hear that. I am sure it is hard to share such a personal pain.
You know I am an older lady. So this is going to be a "how deep the snow was" type post. It is a wonderful thing that pregnancy tests can tell so early when you are pregnant. But... there is a drawback. When I was a young mother a doctor would not even allow that you were pregnant until you had missed two periods and it was felt that it was not a sure thing till you were three months. Many women, myself included always knew immediately when they were pregnant from changes basically in the breast, they became sore and tender, so even though a doctor might say "Oh, we don't know for sure," we knew. I cannot tell you how many thought they were pregnant and then after a missed period or two they were back on their regular schedule. So because they were not told they were pregnant they did not go through the extreme pain and loss you are feeling. SOME DID because they felt for sure they were.
This never happened to me and I know I would have felt the same as you if it had. Except for the time urgency.
Telling you that we know now you can get pregnant, doesn't ease your pain or loss. But it is something you can hold on to. Unfortunately it tells you, and all of us, that we are not in control. In these things our schedules don't matter, our bodies do their thing, and the days keep coming and going. It will happen for you Sarah, and I pray that will be soon. I can't imagine anyone who will be a better mother. I say will because you will be a mother, just not as soon.
I know your husband is grieving also, give him a big hug from me, hold each other very tight through this.
Posted by: Ruth H at December 04, 2007 03:46 AM (KyYN6)
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Sorry to hear that Sarah.
Posted by: tim at December 04, 2007 04:05 AM (nno0f)
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I'm
so sorry to hear of your loss. . . .
Posted by: prophet at December 04, 2007 04:33 AM (Yagmr)
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From one Mother to another...
I am so sorry.
Prayers from our home to yours. May you each be lifted up...
Posted by: awtm at December 04, 2007 04:41 AM (3oU0a)
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Sarah,
I can only offer you my sincerest condolences, I know how much I love being a father, so I think I might have a minute idea of the personal pain you are experiencing.
Take care,
Bubba a/k/a Andy
Posted by: Bubba Bo Bob Brain at December 04, 2007 05:00 AM (AKSWt)
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Sarah, You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mare & Stella
Posted by: Mare at December 04, 2007 05:06 AM (bLO1M)
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I'm so sorry. I wish I had something better to say.
My prayers for you and your husband.
Posted by: Teresa at December 04, 2007 06:02 AM (rVIv9)
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I'm so sorry Sarah. I'm crying with you and praying for you. It's a loss that is so deep it's impossible to understand unless you've felt it. I ache for you both.
No words can really help, so I'll just send you a cyber hug and make sure you know that there are so many of us that love you....
Posted by: Tammi at December 04, 2007 06:04 AM (xYhVQ)
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Comfort must be awfully tough to come by at a time like this. But for what it's worth, our family sends our prayers. I hope your husband stays safe and you stay sane and strong.. and most of all I hope for two blue lines and a healthy little one for you soon.
I know you don't know me.. but if you ever want to vent, please write.
Posted by: Mare's NorCal Pal at December 04, 2007 06:19 AM (p/CHD)
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Sarah, I'm so sorry. I've lost 4 babies due to miscarriage, one very late in the pregnancy. I agree with Ruth H. I think all the early tests make it so much harder. On the bright side, I ended up having two wonderful, healthy children in spite what all my doctors said. Sometimes it's hard to understand something so painful, but I think, God gave me the children he wanted me to have. My prayers are with you and your husband.
Posted by: Noreen at December 04, 2007 06:35 AM (bSLg+)
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You've got time for perspective later. Right now take care of yourself and allow yourself to have any emotion you need to. You and your husband are in my prayers.
Posted by: Bette at December 04, 2007 06:58 AM (ICdbF)
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Sorry for your loss, no words are adequate. But...
Raising your youngest daughter from 0 to 18: oodles of dollars and a few gray hairs (tongue firmly in cheek).
The look on her face as she bounced around the house this past Saturday after opening her early admissions "Welcome" package from the College of William and Mary: PRICELESS.
Keep your chin up. It is indeed worth it.
Shawn - longtime anonymous reader in Virginia Beach.
Posted by: Shawn at December 04, 2007 07:52 AM (O4Ot4)
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Sarah, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Posted by: pam at December 04, 2007 07:53 AM (l6NIn)
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Oh, honey! I'm crying for you. Hugs and warm, comforting thoughts are coming your way.
Posted by: FbL at December 04, 2007 08:07 AM (rW1/8)
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I have only a prayer for you and your husband.
Posted by: Peter at December 04, 2007 09:43 AM (tvqZr)
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Sarah - I am so sorry to hear this. THinking of you and your husband during this painful time.
Keri
Posted by: Keri at December 04, 2007 10:36 AM (HXpRG)
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I am sorry Sara. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Reasa at December 04, 2007 11:50 AM (vdL8w)
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sometimes there are no words . . . thinking of you!
Posted by: Heidi at December 04, 2007 01:33 PM (Q/U10)
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Oh no... I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Patrick Chester at December 04, 2007 02:41 PM (MKaa5)
Posted by: Green at December 04, 2007 02:51 PM (Q8/Tc)
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My heart goes out to you. I cried for you and your husband when I read this. There are so many of us in our squadron that are TTC and a surprising number of us that have experienced similar losses. My prayer is that you grieve and try again. You're going to be great parents.
Posted by: InTheAirForceAgain at December 04, 2007 04:57 PM (WjrQW)
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Thinking of you. ((hugs))
Posted by: Josie at December 04, 2007 07:29 PM (9PVPT)
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Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Anwyn at December 04, 2007 08:35 PM (dzxw9)
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So sorry to hear of your loss. What a wonderful network of love and prayers you have here. Erin's sister lost her first too and now she is 12 weeks along. I love what Ruth said but in the end it's not anything that can be said that changes the pain and loss. Only time. Hang in there. Much love to you and hubby from Washington. Erin's Mom
Posted by: Cindy French at December 05, 2007 05:29 AM (hbcdf)
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LIFE...so fragile.
LOSS... so sudden.
HEART...so broken.
In the wake of such a loss, we're haunted by things we don't - and may never - understand.
Yet the solace we seek, may not come from answers.
So we look for comfort in the belief of love's everlasting
connection.
May that love lift you,
hold you close,
and give you peace.
Sarah, I am so sorry. I love you guys.....
debey
Posted by: debey at December 05, 2007 07:42 AM (PEJff)
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Darling Sarah, I recently had this conversation with someone about the "Big Plan" and how we are not priviledged to know all God's details... you just have to Trust. Know that Hope is yours... Noah & Mel also lost their first child at 16 weeks... and now there is Thomas James.
Very sorry for your loss. Our love, our condolences, and a BIG HUG to you and he.
SSM & the DH
Posted by: Some Soldier's Mom at December 05, 2007 06:34 PM (1t9I+)
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I know how you feel. And I, too, never thought it would happen to me. It truly sucks and I am truly sorry that you had to live it. Next time will be better. (At least that's what I used to tell myself!)
And a suckier part is having to tell people. And the reactions of discomfort when you do.... I wish I could give you some good words.
All I can say is keep trying!
My last miscarriage was a little over a year ago and now I have twins.... It can happen that easily sometimes. Sometimes not.
My best thoughts to you...
Posted by: allicadem at December 06, 2007 05:27 PM (dwyao)
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Sarah,
I'm so very sorry for you and your husbands loss. My experience was the same, we didn't know until we went for our ultrasound only to be greeted with sudden silence and changes in scans. The waiting for it to be over was the worst part, knowing what was to come and nothing could be done to change the outcome.
It's heartbreaking and it just sucks wet socks. But we will add our names to those who send you both hugs (warm fuzzies) and prayers that God in his wisdom will find a way for you both to experience parenthood.
I'm so truly sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Lee Ann at December 07, 2007 08:55 AM (In0yv)
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Sarah,
All my life the only thing I knew was that I loved kids and could not wait for my turn. I am a scientific person...but the one thing that never entered into my thought process was nature turning against me! I just thought because we wanted a baby that it was going to be simple. And, scientific me had it down. But the shock and betrayal you feel when suddenly there is no baby but the "baby inside" literally does blow your world apart. I was alone that day at the doc's and had to look into that sweet man's eyes when he said he was sorry. I did not spontaneously miscarry and waiting almost four days for something to happen is surreal at best. I had to go through a procedure. I was sad, pukey, laughing, crying and asking scientific questions all at once. It was January 11th,1991. My oldest was born Nov the same year. Don't give up hope, just rest, readjust your plan a little and drive on. It is part of a plan that we sometimes don't understand but must get through to even taste the good stuff in the end...And tell your hubby that it will okay for him, too. Mine was scared to touch me because he didn't know if it hurt, the baby inside. I just told him I was so angry at my body and that it felt empty. His answer was to fill me with intimacy and love. Take care.
Posted by: defendusa at December 08, 2007 06:11 AM (lftvs)
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December 02, 2007
ENDED TOO SOON
I dropped my last friend off at the airport this evening, and the ride home was so quiet. I was sad not to have tons of people to talk to and AirForceWife's kids to chase the dog around the house. I miss everyone already.
But I'm exhausted.
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Which is why you have to get some sleep and then come up here and visit us with Charlie (and the husband if he can make it).
I told AirForceGuy how Andi came upon your husband and my daughter #2 discussing the role of Civil Affairs in reconstructing Iraq, and AFG about DIED laughing. It was too perfect.
Posted by: airforcewife at December 03, 2007 09:21 AM (mIbWn)
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Please rest.
Honestly, I had to down a Maker's Mark & Coke once I went back to the hotel. My nerves can't handle all that 'activity.' You are a much more gracious hostess than I, I assure you.

Keep me posted on all your activities and give Charlie a treat from me!
Posted by: guard wife at December 03, 2007 11:14 AM (boSOD)
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Looks like we need to toughen GW up a bit. Heh. Thank you for being such a wonderful hostess. I miss you already.
Posted by: HomefrontSix at December 03, 2007 03:38 PM (4Es1w)
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November 29, 2007
THE YOUTUBE DEBATE
I watched part of the second half of the YouTube debate last night, and I came away from it feeling quite confused. I wondered if I was the only one who thought the questions were caricatures of Republicans. I mean, really, what else can you make of questions about What Would Jesus Do about capital punishment and "would you put women who got abortions in jail?" All the questions I heard sounded like Democrats asking Republicans about their stupid, weird views. Questions about what you think about the Confederate flag or a Muslim asking how to get the rest of the world to like us again? Really? I thought all the questions sounded like Democrats trying to play gotcha with the candidates. Do you believe every single word in the Bible? Puh-lease. That's political debate?
But I thought maybe it was just me. I only saw the social conservative questions, and that's not really my bag. I prefer the tax and terrorism stuff. I thought the questions were dumb, the cartoon Cheney was offensive, and the whole thing was weird.
I turned on the radio on the way home from my knitting class this morning, and I was actually surprised to hear that Rush Limbaugh also thought the questions were stupid. He made an astute point: people submitted their YouTube questions to CNN and CNN picked the ones to use. Since everyone at CNN is a Democrat, of course they picked questions that I think are stupid. They think my views are weird and laughable, so naturally they picked the questions that made the Republicans look kooky.
But seriously, the Confederate flag? That's just plain condescending and offensive towards my worldview.
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Sarah, check out Malkin's site about the debate, it will answer some of your questions.
http://michellemalkin.com/
BTW, what are you referring to by this "...the cartoon Cheney was offensive,..."? I didn't watch it.
Posted by: tim at November 29, 2007 08:53 AM (nno0f)
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Someone made a video with this cartoon Dick Cheney asking whether the next president would let the vice-president run the White House like Bush did.
http://www.youtube.com/republicandebate#qa_CDo-8pMrWRY
Posted by: Sarah at November 29, 2007 08:59 AM (TWet1)
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Wow, that wasn't TOO childish & asinine.
Thanks, (I think).
Posted by: tim at November 29, 2007 11:23 AM (nno0f)
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Rush was spot on this morning, and so are you Sarah!
Posted by: annika at November 29, 2007 04:39 PM (mzyb2)
Posted by: david foster at November 29, 2007 05:52 PM (ke+yX)
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November 28, 2007
HOUSE PARTY
I've been busy getting ready for this...

Andi gets here in a couple of hours, which means I have lasagna to make and a house to keep cleaning. Oh, and a dog to brush. Heather (from Hand-Crafted Comfort) and Ginger (from Sew Much Comfort) show up for dinner tomorrow. Then a friend from Germany and CaliValleyGirl arrive Friday. It's a hen party in the Grok house this weekend!
SpouseBUZZ Live should be great, as always. And if you can't make it to the live event, a very generous and cool company called Syncronicity Live is going to livestream the day. You can watch along from home! What a gift they've given us.
And so I'm off, to finish making the house look presentable and start dinner. Blogging might be limited, since my online friends will all be in my living room this weekend!
Posted by: Sarah at
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Sounds wonderful. See you on Saturday! Jack Bauer is looking forward to meeting you.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at November 29, 2007 04:58 AM (TRbf/)
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I am SOOOO green with envy!

Give everyone hugs for me...
Posted by: FbL at November 29, 2007 10:11 PM (rW1/8)
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SELFLESS
Here's another
funny quip about that woman who got herself sterilized:
“Having children is selfish, “ says Vernelli, “it’s all about maintaining your own genetic line at the expense of the planet.”
I couldnÂ’t agree more. Every really selfish person I know has like twelve kids.
Why just the other day, as I was sitting, unbathed and exhausted, in the kitchen selfishly riding herd on three screaming children, all of whom were simultaneously demanding that I continue my genetic line by providing them with juice boxes, goldfish crackers, hairbows, wardrobe changes, sno-cones, candy, lunch, water, DVDs, computer assistance, reading assistance, diaper changes, judicial intervention, and “milkey, he-a-uh” (milk, heated up), I thought to myself, “Man, am I selfish!”
I had a discussion a little while ago with CaliValleyGirl over whether having children is selfish or selfless. I completely believe that it's selfless, that the point of having children is to raise adults who will provide benefit to society, not just to have a little version of me to cuddle. And raising upstanding members of society is hard. How much easier would my life be to just keep merrily knitting along in between vacations and spending money on myself? That seems like the selfish choice to me. I think instead that I have a duty to my society to breed at no less than replacement rate and breed well, so that my progeny make our country a better place.
But who knows, maybe I'm crazy. I did read America Alone while I was trying to get pregnant, so that may have screwed with my head.
Posted by: Sarah at
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“Having children is selfish, “ says Vernelli, “it’s all about maintaining your own genetic line at the expense of the planet.”
Spoken with all the wisdom of one that does not have children.
Posted by: Bubba Bo Bob Brain at November 28, 2007 04:22 AM (AKSWt)
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It is neither selfish nor selfless. It is about a choice one makes for themselves. Discussion of selfish v. selfless for childless v. having children is mostly a discussion of self-justification. Have children; don't have children. The choice is individual and personal.
Posted by: Badger 6 at November 28, 2007 04:54 AM (TRbf/)
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The choice to have or have not in regards to children is most certainly individual and of itself neither selfish or unselfish.
However, once you HAVE children, you must practice a degree of unselfishness that is unimaginable when there are no children present. You must give up sleep to rock cranky kids, clean up someone else's poop when you'd rather let them sit in it, eat chicken nuggets instead of going out to that cool new Mexican restaurant down the street because of the money factor, and so on and so forth.
Not all parents give up the majority of their selfish leanings when they have children - but the necessity of having to consider someone else's wants and needs before your own is definately a lesson in how to put your own desires second. Especially since, for quite a large bit of the lifetime the child spends living with you they are absolutely ungrateful little brats hell bent on undermining you every chance they get with no clue about the real world (even while they think they have all the answers, of course).
And yes, I do have a teenager.
Posted by: airforcewife at November 28, 2007 08:14 AM (mIbWn)
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Okay, 3 excellent comments already. I might add that having children could only be "selfish" if the goal of the human race was to become extinct. As I have never heard of this being a stated goal for any living being - I have to deduce that having children is unselfish. It's very hard work, requiring the adults involved to give up much of their own life pleasures.
Posted by: Teresa at November 28, 2007 10:22 AM (rVIv9)
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What Badger 6 said.
BTW, on a related but hopefully not a selfish note, I'm thinking in about...what, 7 months this blog isn't gonn'a be.
Posted by: tim at November 28, 2007 11:01 AM (nno0f)
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Badger: I am not sure if I agree with you because I am not really sure what you mean by "self-justification." As in, you justify your choice after the fact? What if you justify it ahead of time? What if you don't like kids and aren't sure you particularly desire them but have them anyway because you think it's the right thing to do? Is that "self-justification"? It doesn't seem like it to me.
Tim: I swear, this will not turn into a mommy blog. I want to keep it the same. We'll see how much time I have to devote to it, but I fully intend to keep the same format. And to try to get content up in between diapers and naps.
Posted by: Sarah at November 28, 2007 11:10 AM (TWet1)
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Cool Sarah, but I, as I'm sure others, will totally understand the lack of content then. While I don't have any first hand experience, I hear babies tend to require alot of attention.
Posted by: tim at November 28, 2007 11:57 AM (nno0f)
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By self-justification I mean they feel the need to explain why they choose to do what they did or are doing as morally superior to others who choose differently.
The person in your hypothetical would be engaging in self-justification when they start telling other people that they too should have children because "it is the right thing to do."
As I stated make your decision for yourself, the idea that you "owe" your society or your species something is silly. Your individual choice will not make a difference to those large groups.
Don't conflate justification with deciding. Deciding is what you do for yourself. Justification is defending that idea to others. I think the choices we make regarding having children should be respected regardless of what that choice is.
Posted by: Badger 6 at November 29, 2007 08:54 AM (TRbf/)
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November 27, 2007
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Thomas Sowell:
Among corporate CEOs, those who cash in stock options that they have accumulated over the years get a big spike in income the year that they cash them in. This lets critics quote inflated incomes of the top-paid CEOs for that year. Some of these incomes are almost as large as those of big-time entertainers -- who are never accused of "greed," by the way.
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R&R
I am loving Butterfly Wife's R&R posts. Just loving them. They make me remember
my own R&R and smile. If you've ever had an R&R, I highly recommend
heading to her blog and just scrolling. I am sure it will sound familiar.
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POTPOURRI
-- I always find stuff like this,
Shiver Me Timbers: 'Tree Man' Revealed, so sad. This man's life has been ruined, he's been mocked and has resorted to working in a freak show, all over something Americans doctors could fix with doses of Vitamin A. My heart always breaks when someone in another country suffers a horrible, debilitating illness that can be cured with simple medicine.
-- I have a really low tolerance for Mormon bashing. And this article, Enough Cliches About Faith: Mitt's Mormonism Matters, got under my skin today.
Those contradictory statements won't cut it. And they don't sidestep the plain fact that Mormonism, like the other faiths I mentioned, is not a Christian religion.
...
Mormons, it turns out, believe human souls have existed for all eternity, temporarily inhabit physical bodies and can eventually evolve into gods. They also believe the Garden of Eden was in Missouri and that tribes from Israel traveled to what is now America, built ancient cities and fought epic battles.
Needless to say, there's no physical evidence of the cities or the thousands killed in the ancient wars of the Mormon holy books, and DNA evidence rules out American Indians as descendants of ancient Israel.
DNA evidence also rules out Noah's Ark, and there's no archaeological evidence of the Exodus. So let's throw out the Old Testament while we're belittling religions. There go Judaism and Christianity. Oh well. There are none so blind as those who will not see.
-- And my #1 pet peeve of all: our military installations in Germany. Mark Steyn opines on the Defense Welfare Queens:
But hundreds of thousands of U.S. personnel should not be living permanently in Europe, for reasons I go into in America Alone. The problem is nicely encapsulated in a remark by Karl Peter Bruch, the then Interior Minister for Rhineland-Palatinate. When Rummy first mooted reducing the American presence and the Germans started lobbying Washington to change their minds, Herr Bruch said:
We realised that our installations are in grave danger. And then came the question, what can we do to make us more attractive?
"Our" installations? Who's this "our," kemosabe? These bases are built, maintained and staffed by the United States - and paid for by U.S. taxpayers. Yet Herr Bruch regards them as a permanent feature of the German landscape, like the Black Forest.
Amen, brother. I once asked a German co-worker what happens to the buildings and land when we close down an American installation, do we sell the buildings to the Germans or just leave? She indignantly replied that, of course the Germans don't buy anything; we Americans "stole" the land in the first place. And what was perhaps the only time in Sarah's life that she managed a zinger, I fired back with, "Um, you really don't want to get in a measuring contest of who stole more land in the 30s and 40s, do you?"
The Continentals are so insulated from reality they don't even value the U.S. presence in strategic terms. German politicians speak of U.S. military bases mainly as an economic issue — all those German supermarkets and German restaurants that depend on American custom.
And that sums it up. All you ever hear about is how all the poor restaurant owners will go out of business when American soldiers stop eating out every night of the damn week. Cry me a river. Bring all those soldiers back to the US to patronize American restaurant owners.
US out of Germany now! No more blood for schnitzel.
(All links via Conservative Grapevine)
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Even if the average German does not value the strategic value of our forward deployed Soldiers, we still need to have the ability to project power around the world. A retreat to Fort Bragg would not be wise.
Posted by: Badger 6 at November 27, 2007 07:20 AM (QwmTw)
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Granted, I am far from an expert, but I am not sure I see our bases in Europe as projecting power. We can't get materiel from Europe to Iraq any faster than we can from the US. Maybe I'm missing something in the big picture, but from my lane, I just see those bases as a big money drain. Do you know how much it costs to dispose of refuse in Europe? To pay all the soldiers COLA? To heat all the houses on post that have * no thermostats*? It makes me sick to my stomach to foot the bill for Europe's defense, when it seems that we get VERY LITTLE in return for the deal. I'd rather be in Poland.
Posted by: Sarah at November 27, 2007 10:39 AM (TWet1)
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No blood for schnitzel, surely, but I'm willing to suffer for questionable street vendor gyros.
Posted by: deskmerc at November 27, 2007 12:09 PM (Ho1gG)
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You have a low tolerance for Mormon bashing? Dang, I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me that the last time I was telling you about a crazy Mormon? Crap.
Posted by: Erin at November 27, 2007 02:15 PM (XRza7)
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*frantically seconding the Polish option**
Mmmmm, pierogi....mmmmmm
Posted by: airforcewife at November 27, 2007 03:34 PM (mIbWn)
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"No more blood for schnitzel!" I love it!
I have to add though, that Ramstein and Landstuhl Military Hospital have saved so many lives over the past 50 years, its hard to see doing without them.
Posted by: annika at November 27, 2007 06:08 PM (mzyb2)
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Annika, the hospitals are the only strategic asset that I can truly understand. They are quite necessary, and no one has ever talked about closing them. I imagine we will have a small presence in Germany for a very long time, but I wish it were getting smaller faster.
Posted by: Sarah at November 28, 2007 03:32 AM (TWet1)
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November 26, 2007
FULL-THROATED ENDORSEMENT
My husband pointed out the article yesterday about the lady who got herself sterilized because breeding leads to global warming. My immediate reaction? Excellent. Almost with a Mr. Burns accent. If she honestly thinks that, then I don't want her breeding either. So it's a win-win.
Lileks nails it:
She expresses frustration that other people are unable to accept her decision. I suspect she means “my mum” by “other people,” and I suspect she confuses “acceptance” with “full-throated endorsement."
Of course I accept these people’s decisions not to have children. What am I supposed to do, break into their homes, duct-tape them together into the double-backed beast and play whacka-chicka 70s porn soundtracks until they’re in the mood? But “acceptance” is part of the usual recipe: first we must tolerate, which no decent person should have any problem doing. Then we are asked to accept, which for most means slump-shouldered acquiescence. Eventually it’s not the norm, but it’s standing alongside it on stage, nudging its way into the spotlight.
As Mr. Garrison eloquently said, "Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! ... "Tolerate" means you're just putting up with it! You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or, or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss you off! Jesus Tapdancing Christ!"
And Lileks has more. Much more. Plus funny reviews of Redacted and Die Hardest.
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Dude, Mr. Garrison is so wise

and he has the best exclamations on TV
Posted by: Kate at November 26, 2007 09:09 AM (tB/4l)
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If only more of her kind would follow her example.
Stumbled across your original blog as a result of comments you left on "The Smallest Minority," which I found through Kim du Toit's blog. It's great that we have such eloquent and profound thinkers as yourself representing me and my fellow Americans.
Keep it up!
Posted by: Lame-R at November 26, 2007 09:42 AM (nt98J)
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What a nice compliment, Lame-R! Thanks for the nice comment. I have no memory of what I wrote on The Smallest Minority, but whatever it was, I'm glad it brought you here. Thanks for reading!
Posted by: Sarah at November 26, 2007 11:21 AM (TWet1)
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November 25, 2007
I GOT NOTHIN'
I keep sitting at the computer, waiting for inspiration to strike. It doesn't. But I can give you links.
Steyn's GOP looks like the party of diverse ideas
Reynolds' Loving Monsters
And here's a good RWN post called 2/3 of Americans Polled are Idiots. I swear, I don't want to compare life to that movie Idiocracy, but sometimes I just can't help it. Sometimes a silly movie about how morons outbreed smart people and turn the world to crap doesn't seem so far off.
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Don't worry about the Idiocracy thing - Air Force Family is on the case! I can't remember exactly HOW many kids we have so far, but it's a lot.
Posted by: airforcewife at November 25, 2007 12:36 PM (mIbWn)
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I'd be real interested to know the educational distribution of the conspiracy-believers. You know that old line "were you born that stupid or did you have to study?"...I bet a lot of these people had to study.
Posted by: david foster at November 25, 2007 01:05 PM (ke+yX)
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November 21, 2007
THANK HEAVENS I DON'T HAVE, LIKE, A JOB TO GET IN THE WAY
I am finally well enough to be able to be able to lift my arms more than four inches off the sofa. Which means knitting again! But I look around me, just from my vantage point on the sofa, and see ten projects on needles. I have so much knitting I want to do, and only two hands to do it with. How often have I wished I were a Hindu god...
And the queen of stuffed animals over at k2sc1 is raising the bar yet again with a fantastic knitted elephant. I want one! But I seriously can't cast on my eleventh project.
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I love elephants! That is so amazing.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Good luck getting the other 10 projects done so you can get started on the elephant.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at November 21, 2007 07:21 PM (BO9rS)
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When I was pregnant with you, I was sick the whole first trimester and was working at the time. My co-workers literally said I looked green! Right about that time companies had to start putting a lounge or sofa in the ladies' rooms. I remember it well; it was yellow naguahyde (sp)leather, and I spent alot of time resting on it! I did alot of embroidery then!
Your Mama
Posted by: Nancy at November 23, 2007 02:47 PM (i47jP)
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I'm so glad you feel better! And about that 11th project...don't do it! Don't give in! I have finally gotten DOWN to 9 projects on needles or hooks and still feel overwhelmed! I keep swearing I'll do no more than 2 at a time once I get "these" done...but "these" keep multiplying somehow. There is always something so fun that I want to make! And oh so little time!
Posted by: Heather S. at November 23, 2007 06:29 PM (kwJDy)
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OUR DOCUMENT
I had a discussion with my husband a while back about the Constitution. And how perfect it is. And how strange that seems, since it was written by mere men. And how I don't think I would willingly sumbit myself to any document written by mere men today, but have no qualms about accepting every sacred word that was written 220 years ago. And how odd that is. And yet how perfect I still think that document is.
My brain runs in circles.
But as I was reading The Second Amendment and the Personal Right to Arms (via Instapundit) this morning, I was struck by one paragraph that reminds me again how beautiful our Constitution is:
There is, to be sure, in the Second Amendment, an express reference to the security of a "free State." It is not a reference to the security of THE STATE. There are doubtless certain national constitutions that put a privileged emphasis on the security of "the state," but such as they are, they are all unlike our Constitution and the provisions they have respecting their security do not appear in a similarly phrased Bill of Rights. Accordingly, such constitutions make no reference to any right of the people to keep and bear arms, apart from state service. And why do they not do so? Because, in contrast with the premises of constitutional government in this country, they reflect the belief that recognition of any such right "in the people" might well pose a threat to the security of "the state." In the view of these different constitutions, it is commonplace to find that no one within the state other than its own authorized personnel has any right to keep and bear arms--a view emphatically rejected, rather than embraced, however, by the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. [emphasis mine]
The perfection of our Constitution lies in the fact that the people of the United States are more important than the government. Obviously this is common knowledge for anyone who knows a darn thing about the founding of our country, but it bears repeating, lest we forget just what a unique and wonderful experiment our country is.
I am just so happy to have been born here. It sure saved me the time and energy of having to get here.
And I really miss Bunker right at this moment. That man knew the value of the Constitution and would've loved that I was having these thoughts. I sure miss his attagirl comments.
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Yeah yeah if the constitution is so perfect why did Ben Franklin suggest we might want to have a constitutional convention to re-examine and possibly update it every 20 years or so??
Posted by: Bubba Bo Bob Brain at November 21, 2007 01:21 PM (AKSWt)
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How can someone who loves the constitution support the bush administration?
Posted by: Will at November 22, 2007 02:40 PM (JzKuA)
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Hmmm - those didn't look like the response Bunker would have given. *tsk*
I am going to follow this case very closely, because of the arguments that may come from both sides. My gut says it's an easy decision, and I certainly hope that the court will decide in favor of personal gun rights, as I believe that is core to the intent of the 2nd amendment. I don't think we're going to get a slam-dunk here though.
I'm glad to have been born here as well, and plan to exercise my 2nd amendment rights at the range one day soon.
Posted by: Barb at November 24, 2007 08:11 PM (QOeYI)
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November 20, 2007
CRAPPY NEWS NETWORK
Woah. McQ from
Q and O busts out CNN bigtime. He was watching a program on John Cena and steroid use and thought Cena's answer was evasive. Then he saw the entire tape. He asks, "If CNN can so cavalierly edit an answer in a relatively peripheral story about professional wresting, what are they doing with
really important stories."
You have to go watch these two videos. It's unreal how sneaky CNN was. And, yes, Cena definitely deserves an apology.
Every time I see something like this, it makes me distrust the news even more. What else are they clipping and cutting?
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CNN Chicken noodle news..
But I have seen people calling it Clinton News Network.
I have to agree
Posted by: awtm at November 20, 2007 07:32 AM (XEBSz)
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Personnally, I do know how "wonderful" the media can be with their edits. from local tv news , to Army Times....the media, all of them, can twist words, and they think NOTHING about doing it.
Posted by: debey at November 20, 2007 08:00 AM (kocrl)
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November 19, 2007
NOT QUITE WHAT I ENVISIONED
My latest Thanksgiving preemie hat. Or, as I like to call it, the Loch Ness monster with balloons on his back.

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I think you named it correctly. What were you aiming for? I think it is cute!
Posted by: Ruth H at November 20, 2007 04:33 AM (Bgs6y)
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Ha, is it really that bad? I was aiming for it to look like a Thanksgiving turkey
Posted by: Sarah at November 20, 2007 05:37 AM (TWet1)
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I love it! I think it is adorable!
Posted by: Heather S. at November 23, 2007 06:31 PM (kwJDy)
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I was sitting here thinking "Loch Ness? But it looks like a turkey to me." lol And then I read the comments so I don't feel so dumb now, haha.
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November 17, 2007
OBSERVING RACE RELATIONS
I saw two very interesting and related events today that made me start thinking about race relations.
First, I was in the dollar store and a white dad and his white son were oohing and aahing over these "bling bling" toys. They were plastic necklaces shaped like dollar signs and stuff like rappers would wear. The white dad was using his outdoor voice to tell the kid how cool the bling was. And there were a whole lot of black people in the store who didn't bat an eye or seem to think this was at all weird.
Secondly, I later heard two middle-aged women at Michaels talking about beading and jewelery making. The white one told the black one that a certain type of magnetic clasp was "the bomb." And the black lady agreed.
Now I don't know exactly what each of these exchanges means on a grander scale. But it seemed to me today that elements of black culture are seeping into white culture, and the black people I observed today didn't seem to notice or mind. I thought it was pretty fascinating that in no way did the white people feel like they should watch what they said lest they appear to be co-opting someone else's culture or sound condescending, and the black people took it as fairly normal that a white lady would say "the bomb" or a white kid would want some 50 Cent style necklace.
I just thought it was cool. And I hope it does say something grander about our society.
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November 16, 2007
HEH
Quote of the day, by
John Hawkins:
We will never go back to the America that the Founding Fathers envisioned. We're talking about people who were profoundly distrustful of the federal government and believed in keeping it extremely weak and starved of funds. They wouldn't support Social Security, Medicare, or even the income tax. The Founders made the nerdiest Big L Libertarian you'll ever run into today seem like Vladimir Ilyich Lenin in comparison.
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But they REALLY wouldn't support a perpetually standing army - the biggest government institution created since then - and all the wiretapping and domestic crap that goes with it.
The military industrial complex is far more dangerous to our civil liberties than social security.
Posted by: Will at November 22, 2007 02:39 PM (JzKuA)
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BABIES EVERYWHERE
I've been fascinated by websites like
this that chronicle my baby's growth. I can't believe he/she already has toes and fingers and fingerprints! Better not commit any crimes or Grissom'll get ya, baby.
But as amazed as I am about this wiggling baby inside me that I haven't yet seen or heard, I was blown away at the pictures on Erin's blog. She and her husband are adopting, and their baby gave them a perfect first photo.
I am so excited for them.
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Wow. Our baby has already formed "primitive sperm." That website is cool!
And thank you, Sarah. I needed that.
Posted by: Erin at November 16, 2007 10:59 AM (XRza7)
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Aaawww! We got some great front-view photos, but I do wish we'd gotten a profile in the last ultrasound. It was so amazing to see our baby's little face so clearly!
Posted by: deltasierra at November 16, 2007 04:16 PM (woXks)
3
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http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/thread/562198.aspx
Neil C. Reinhardt
....
Posted by: Neil C. Reinhardt at November 16, 2007 09:23 PM (lc+on)
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OMG!!!! I have been so busy working and disconnected for so long. You and Erin both expecting babies.....Congrats...I can't wait to see pics.....
We are in the middle of yet another PCS, but please bring me up to speed when you get a chance.
Take care,
Posted by: Vonn at November 20, 2007 08:29 PM (8ocu7)
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NO POWER
Last night we lost power for over an hour. In the grand scheme of things, that's not a major tragedy, but it's so easy to forget how much we rely on electricity to do everything. What do you do when the sun's already gone down and there's no internet, no TV, no phone, no radio, and no heat? Most people make a baby, but we're already ahead of that game. It's amazing how life slows to a snail's pace when the power goes out.
But my husband said the silver lining was that we didn't give a dime to any Saudis during that hour.
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Sorry to spoil the silver lining...but not all that much electricity comes from oil. In the US, the starring roles are held by coal and natural gas, with hydropower and nuclear playing the supporting roles. So the Saudis hardly lost any dimes at all...
Posted by: david foster at November 16, 2007 05:17 AM (ke+yX)
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David -- Aw, rats. Well, the joke was funny anyway
Posted by: Sarah at November 16, 2007 05:27 AM (TWet1)
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an hour???not here.....every time I call in a power outage(we live in SDAK, and the 1-800- number for excel energy is in Wisconsin) the computerized message tells us not to even expect the ''return of power, for at least 4 hours''. yes, we own a gas powered generator...for winter/ice outtages, that have left friends, neighbors and family without power for as long as 22 days(Nov.2005, my In-Laws)
Posted by: debey at November 16, 2007 03:12 PM (kocrl)
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The joke does work.

Like debey says, there are gas-powered generators. But you also didn't drive anywhere to seek power, heat, internet, etc. – or flashlight batteries, like we did.
Posted by: deltasierra at November 16, 2007 04:13 PM (woXks)
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Yeah, if lots of people run home generators, it will help out the Saudis and other oil producers. Which raises an interesting point:
The "progressive" wing of the Democratic Party is hostile to energy, and to the extent it gains power is likely to bring the nation's electrical system to a condition which combines very high prices with frequent outgages in many locations. Should this happen, the John Edwards of the world will be happily running their large home generators, which are far less efficient than central-station power. Other people and businesses will do the same to the extent they can afford it, resulting in a significant increase in demand for imported oil.
Posted by: david foster at November 17, 2007 08:22 AM (ke+yX)
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